Shit...

The last several "new" looking entries were all actually from a while ago. agoapparently when I read back and try to edit major typos, it then posts them as new. Thanks blogger.

Dreamland

Has not been very kind... The more aware and intense in my thought process gets around myself, love, life, control, general mindfulness, impulses, etc, the more my dreams take over. I have never in my life dreamed like this before... Theyre often, in multiples, seemingly random, and without much rhyme or reason. Since my childhood my dreams have always consisted of random terrifying animals and riddled with confusing but necessary flight. These were only broken up by typical new mommy dreams during pregnancy processing all kinds of strange irrational baby fears. I never saw faces, places were jumbled messes of those familiar all at once, and none ended,all repeated throughout years with only slight additions and modifications. Lately is something quite different. People are very present, the places sometimes familiar sometimes not however always concretely a single fixed place, not all are horrifying life threatening, some are mild, others neutral, Some anxious, some almost bordering pleasant. I struggle to recall their specifics yet I know I can't rest my eyes for 30 minutes without them flooding in. When one ends, I wake completely although usually briefly. I have sensed nearly 4 to 5 completely separate dreams in a single night of only 6 hours of sleep. Its impossible to feel rested. I don't understand... I know I am on the correct path with my own personal journey, I can sense that as well... So what am I missing? Where are these coming from? Why can't I rest??...