Snow at 1 am

I don't know what sparks these sudden urgent needs to write it just sort of hit... hard. Perhaps it is the complete black out of all that is while driving at 1am through snowy winter weather watch sort of conditions, similar to that it takes to spin flaming wicks at the end of 3 foot chains dancing around ones head. Maybe it was the couple at the grocery store getting weeks worth of food with their food stamps in front of me. Both obviously with some slight delays however no doubt on the high functioning side. Something about the mans gentleness with her and his casual joking comments about Winco getting another checker out soon so I wasn't stuck behind him until next Tuesday. Perhaps it was the soda he put back so she could get a few of her luxury items since both could not be afforded. Quiet, sweet, simple, clear, and uncomplicated. He took the cart and made it a point to open the van door for her. Both unloaded the cart quickly. Envy. returning home with the same focus only slightly more on edge after turning sideways a few times, focused on my best winter driving abilities and the blaring sound of Nickelback I can only clearly hear through my left ear. Returning home to check on the little ones only to find one wet the bed. Something is sometimes very grounding about a clear mind running into the motherly domestic duties of waking a 4 year old to clean her, redress her in warm clothes, changing bedding (being ever so careful to check each of the 40+ items including blankets, pillows, dolls, and stuffed animals to be sure nothing tht doesn't have to be washed isn't removed from her bed), and then tucking her snuggly back in bed only aft r pointing out the fresh blanket of snow iwth the prospect of making snow men in the morning. I can rejoice in moments of such semblance of sanity. Only to be hit further home after 20 minutes of quiet by a heart jerking cry of another one woken up from a bad dream. No sleeping alone tonight. Somehow I am not hesitant tonight or disrupted in any way by the inevitable foot in my neck that I can expect within an hour or so, waking me from my first taste of restful sleep that should have been found hours ago.... Hopefully it continues to snow enough for a snow day tomorrow. I think we are in a good space for it, sleep or not.