AMERICAS ON SALE! (One of my favs!)

[america's on sale] ©2001 Alix Olson.




ATTENTION SHOPPERS!!!

attention 9 to 5 folk, cell-phone masses,

the up and coming classes.

attention sports-utility,

plastic-surgery suburbanites,

viagra-popping, gucci-shopping urbanites.

attention george-clooney loonies,

promise-keeper sheep,

stockbroker sleep-walkers,

big investment talkers,

ricki lake-watchers.

attention walmart congregation,

shop til you drop generation,

ATTENTION NATION!

AMERICA’S ON SALE!



We’ve unstocked the welfare pantry

to restock the wall street gentry

it’s economically elementary

because values don’t pay,

yes, american dreams are on permanent layaway!

(there was limited availability anyway)

the statue of liberty is being dismantled,

ten dollars a piece to sit on your mantle

or hang on your wall

by the small somalian child

you bought from sally struthers

sisters and brothers, it’s now or never,

these deals won’t last forever-

AMERICA’S ON SALE!

(restrictions may apply if you’re black, gay or female)



And shoppers!

global perspective is ninety-ninety percent off

cause most of the world don’t count to us.

our ethic inventory is low

because moral business has been slow,

the values-company is moving to mexico--

and ALL ETHICS MUST GO!



It’s a remote control America that’s on sale

because standing up for justice can’t compare

to clicking through it from a lazy chair--

Answer: jerry, montel, oprah

Question: folks who really care!

for a million dollars!

in this new mcveggie burger world order

where the mainstream scene has an alternative theme.

where national health care is one hundred percent off!

and medicare is in the fifty percent bin,

so you can buy--half an operation

when AMERICA’S ON SALE!

There’s a close-out bid to determine

which religion will win

all the neon flashing signs of sin.

the Christian Coalition is bidding high

shoppers, you ask WHY?!

who needs a higher power when you’ve got

the purchasing power

to corner and market

one human mold.

That’s right - Real family values

are being UNDERSOLD!!



And it’s open hunting season for the NRA!

there’s a special oozie discount-- only today!

Gun control?! We say--

Fuck it! Blow it all away!



Because inflation is up on the CEO ego

and power is deflated as far as we go:

Nike bought the revolution,

and law schools bought the constitution!

Tommy Hilfiger bought the red, white, and blue,

(a flag shirt for fifty dollars,

the one being burned is you!)

Marlboro bought what it means to be a man,

Lexus equals power- so get it while you can.

Maybelline bought beauty,

New York bought Rudy Guiliani,

Mastercard Gold bought the national soul

Broadway bought talent and called it CATS!

the Republicans bought out the Democrats-

they liquidated all asses in a fat white donkey sale-

now it’s buy one shmuck, get one shmuck free

in the capitalist party!

And there’s nothing left to get in the way

of a full blue-light blow-out

of the U.S. of A!

there’s a no-nothing back guarantee,

a zero-year warranty,

when you buy this land of the fritos, ruffles, lays..

this home of the braves, the chiefs, the reds, the slaves!

so call 1-800- i don’t care about shit

or www.FUCK ALL OF IT!

to receive your credit for the fate of our nation-

(call now! Interest is at an all-time low)



But hurry shoppers!

because america’s being downsized, citizens,

and you’re all fired.