Panic...

My little Amery Bug is asking questions about dying... we are at an age i have long since been nervous in its anticipation... She understands the permanency of death but what after?!? How much of an existential conversation can one really have with a 5 year old?...

I refuse to push any one particular belief system on my children. When they are old enough to understand what a faith then i feel it is their own right to choose one. She is beginning to understand the different options (one of which she is convinced that people actually CAN just live forever) mostly the ideas of Heaven or Reincarnation.

Weird timing for such a topic. I've been avoiding this site for several days despite it being in the forefront of my mind and an itch to spill all. Death... Mourning... loss...

It starts with nervousness... almost like a tick of sorts. Nerves turn to fear punctuated by tears. Paralyzing... completely immobilizing the fear is. Completely irrationally immobilizing...

I couldn't survive loosing another one...